The Japanese girl was surprised but accepted the offer. However, the more time they spent together, the more they realised that they didn’t have much in common. Japan is a relatively well-off country, so a Japanese woman won’t usually marry a western man for a better life. Then came the worst bit: she didn’t want to go back to Japan. Nonetheless, some Japanese women are interested in western culture and might marry men in the hope of living in a western country. Marvin, another Jamaican man, met a Japanese woman in the university cafeteria when he was studying in the US. Marvin had to go back to Jamaica after his university course was over. After he said goodbye to her at the airport, he found himself alone. Neither of them was particularly interested in the other’s country, but they got along well because of a shared interest in music and films. Marvin would defend her when American people made fun of her Japanese accent. James is a British man who is said to have slept with more than 100 Japanese women. She was a rock musician but she dressed very nicely. Charles didn’t speak much Japanese, and she didn’t speak any English at all. (I know this because the Japanese wives tend to be very friendly and often talk to me.) Danuja, a Sri Lankan man who has lived in Japan for 11 years, had two long-term relationships with Japanese girls prior to his current Japanese girlfriend. They became friends first and it took six months for them to start dating.When I asked him what kind of advice he would give to western guys, he said ‘Don’t find them in a bar.’ James remembers meeting a Japanese girl in an Irish pub in Tokyo. He still liked her, so he decided to give it another try. (He says that rock musicians tend to not pay attention to clothes.) She and Charles hit it off well, and they exchanged contact details. In fact, she didn’t have any interest in western culture. He got tickets for a concert of UA, her favourite Japanese artist, and asked her to come. They have now been together for one and a half years.They were having a normal conversation when the girl suddenly grabbed him, hugged him and kissed him right on his neck. She would change plans at the last minute, and eventually she stopped contacting him.
Andre talked to his friend about what had happened. It turned out that she had never had any intention of having a boyfriend: she just wanted to have sex. Kenny, a Canadian man, met a lot of Japanese women in Tokyo who showed intense interest in him. ‘When I went out to clubs, it was like shooting fish in a barrel.’ Kenny didn’t mention that he was married (to a Japanese woman) and looking for sexual intimacy that his marriage didn’t provide.They wanted to explore the area more, but in order to do that they had to take the ropeway. They joined the queue, even though they were a bit put off by its length. Looking back, that was just one of their numerous miscommunications. The ‘bars’ they talk about are western-style bars which are relatively rare in Japan. But if you want to leave, let’s leave,’ his girlfriend said.On the other hand, Frank thinks that her non-confrontational, laid-back nature can work well for their relationship.One of the things he likes about her is that she doesn’t ask dangerous, leading questions such as ‘Who is this girl in your photo?