Divorced mothers dating
Normal rites of passage (learning to shave, wearing makeup, dating) are grudgingly allowed only if you insist, and you're punished for your insistence ("Since you're old enough to date, I think you're old enough to pay for your own clothes!
") If you demand age-appropriate clothing, grooming, control over your own life, or rights, you are difficult and she ridicules your "independence." 3. Narcissistic mothers commonly choose one (sometimes more) child to be the golden child and one (sometimes more) to be the scapegoat.
She will be nasty to you about things that are peripherally connected with your successes so that you find your joy in what you've done is tarnished, without her ever saying anything directly about it. She lets you know in all sorts of little ways that she thinks less of you than she does of your siblings or of other people in general.
No matter what your success, she has to take you down a peg about it. If you complain about mistreatment by someone else, she will take that person's side even if she doesn't know them at all.
Karyl Mc Bride "Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life" by Dr. She rarely says right out that she thinks you're inadequate.
: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers" by Dr.
She will slip little comments into conversation that she really enjoyed something she did with someone else - something she did with you too, but didn't like as much.
She'll slam you to other people, but will always embed her devaluing nuggets of snide gossip in protestations of concern, love and understanding ("I feel so sorry for poor Cynthia. Your property is given away without your consent, sometimes in front of you.The scapegoat has no needs and instead gets to do the caring. That division will be fostered by the narcissist with lies and with blatantly unfair and favoritizing behavior.The golden child will defend the mother and indirectly perpetuate the abuse by finding reasons to blame the scapegoat for the mother's actions. Your accomplishments are acknowledged only to the extent that she can take credit for them.She will deliver generalized barbs that are almost impossible to rebut (always in a loving, caring tone): "You were always difficult" "You can be very difficult to love" "You never seemed to be able to finish anything" "You were very hard to live with" "You're always causing trouble" "No one could put up with the things you do." She will deliver slams in a sidelong way - for example she'll complain about how "no one" loves her, does anything for her, or cares about her, or she'll complain that "everyone" is so selfish, when you're the only person in the room.As always, this combines criticism with deniability.